so this is why i’m quitting mediation
Here’s a picture for you:
You’ve had enough. It’s time for a re-think. Time to put things into perspective. You’re stressed out your box with this conflict, and don’t know where to turn. You know that if things continue to go south, the ball’s gonna burst and you could end up with gold-plated lawyers involved, or worse, arguing over a paper-strewn oak table in court. You don’t want that. You’ve enough on your plate. You just want to put this nonsense behind you and get on with things, right?
And then some bright spark hits you with: hey chill out, have you tried mediation? Read more “why i’m quitting mediation”
So in the course of writing pocketconflictcoach within my ongoing Mediation In Your Pocket project, I’ve prepared a list of questions that will be presented in interactive forms to those entering the site’s conflict engagement engine, those visitors who are looking to engage constructively with the person or company with whom they’re in conflict. Read more “how to prepare those in conflict engagement”
If you, or your client who is separating with kids, are thinking that it might be of benefit to involve the children in some way in the separation process, here’s a little bit of information to help you decide how best to consider it. Read more “how does child inclusive mediation help?”
new balls please
Those who follow my work will know that I hung up my court gown some time ago, that my ethos in conflict intervention has moved towards helping those in conflict engage with it constructively. As with current trends in this field, although my initial post-litigation training focused solely on mediation, over time I’ve begun to adopt a less defined role, and therefore, rather than holding up mediation before those in conflict as the only path they need to take, rather than assuming that it’s the magical answer to everything, actually I’ve come to find that what they really need is for us to help them towards a path that feels right for them, that can twist and turn according to what they need instead of how it’s been laid out before them. Read more “the conflict game”
It really is. So don’t bother even thinking about trying mediation to sort your issues out after separation!
Who am I talking to when I say this?
Well, really I’m talking to those who are in the middle of conflict after their separation. Maybe it’s a conflict about the kids, where they should live, when each of you should get to see them, who needs to pay for them. Or maybe it’s about finances, whether the pension should be shared, how much money needs to be paid every month to keep the other going. Read more “mediation is a waste of time”
I’m going to regret the title of this, my year-end thoughts, aren’t I?
My hope though, for what it’s worth, is that how things turn out next year will end up proving just how much of an understatement the title was.
So why all this wacky optimism? Read more “2017: the year scots mediation lights a fire…”
Why am I doing this?
Well, it’s just the beginning of a musing of a plan, really. For some time it’s occurred to me that in my neck of the woods, mediation is more of a referral business, that to build a successful mediation practice it’s pretty vital that you set to work from the outset identifying and nurturing a solid referral network. In other words, although it’s those in conflict you’re looking to help ultimately, until they’re referred to you they tend not to know you exist, so in order to reach those parties it’s necessary to hook in those to whom the parties usually visit for resolution of their issues. Read more “whatsapp mediation”
It’s been a busy year for me with CALM Scotland.
Amongst the many things in which I’ve been proud as a punch to be involved for this wonderful organisation of lawyer mediators, is a major pilot proposal we are discussing together with Relationships Scotland, the Scottish Government and the Scottish Legal Aid Board. The discussions are entering a final phase, and once approved, the pilot will be set to begin in April 2017, taking our country into a passionate new era of action in tackling the roots and consequences of family conflict.
I’ve said for too long now that the conflict underlying separating families is encouraged rather than resolved by our system of civil justice in Scotland, and this pilot is a first step in directing them from the tired, adversarial court approach. Read more “this is your pilot speaking…”